Dear Oprah Winfrey
cc: Tyra and Ellen
cc: Anderson Cooper (I realize you're a longshot)
You may not know this yet, but you need my on your show. Seriously.
I'm already imagining what I'll wear and how I'll do my hair and all the wonderful things we'll talk about! Plus, I've already figured out how exactly to angle my body towards the camera for maximum fabulosity! What, there's nothing else to do when there's nothing good on TV and you don't feel like doing homework!
Just imagine how your ratings would go up!
Why haven't you thought of it before?
It's okay, I guess. I realize how busy we all are. So just have your people call my people (read: my mom) and extend me an invitation and I'll accept. Just like that.
Oh and don't worry. I'll keep the fabulousness to a minimum: I do realize it's your show and all. I won't steal your thunder or your limelight or whatever. So no worries.
Kaythanksbyegirfriend! I'll be waiting!!
your girl J