Dec 22, 2011
Aug 28, 2011
long time no blog... visit me on tumblr! nomadmanifesto.tumblr.com & fameandotherdrugs.tumblr.com
Aug 8, 2011
Jul 23, 2011
Jul 13, 2011
Jul 1, 2011
i'm reading letters to a young poet by rainer marie rilke.
Jun 12, 2011
May 23, 2011
May 10, 2011
May 7, 2011
Apr 28, 2011
When I was like 10 I had the biggest crush on Prince William. I just knew that I would meet him, and he'd fall in love with me, and we'd be married, and I'd be a princess. I think that's what I was most excited for- being a princess. (What?! What ten year old girl didn't want to be a princess?)
Apr 26, 2011
“A writer who waits for ideal conditions under which to work will die without putting a word to paper.”
I have two midterms on Thursday. I locked myself in my room. I was determined to study. I wrote a poem instead. I'm not ready for my tests on Thursday. Anyways, here is part of the poem I wrote:
i am far older than you. my face
a worn map, my breasts a heaving
reminder. you ask me why i have never
do you know now why i took you under
my skirt? i am a small planet with no moons.
i weep. i wanted better for you, but africa
has always been on fire— the women
flameswallowers. ashes in the heels of their boots.
Apr 24, 2011
Two years ago my grandmother moved back to Somalia. She missed home so much she couldn't bear it anymore. I remember the day she left. I can't remember ever crying that hard.
We speak on the phone a couple of times a month. She has bought a home, a piece of land she can call her own, and she nurses her sick mother there. She tells me there is a bedroom for me when I come visit.
It's hard for me to speak to her on the phone: my throat closes, my voice chokes up. Her voice brings back so many memories- it's overwhelming the way that I miss her.
We speak in the Somali she has taught me, and it's often frustrating for me- the words are heavy and awkward in my mouth. My sentences choppy and broken, but she assures me that she understands. We talk about her time in America. She tells me that I am the only thing that ever made sense to her in this foreign land.
I dream of her every once in a while. In the mornings I wake up lonely.
Apr 23, 2011
2) I want to take pictures. I already do.. a lot, but I want to take pictures deliberately. I want to capture something beautiful that will last. I want to look back at now, at these times, and memorialize them. You can live forever in a photograph, and I've always wanted to feel infinite.
3) Study for midterms... errr. Two midterms next Thursday. I got out my books, spread them out all around me, and that's about as far as I got. It's sunny outside today. 'Nuff said.
Apr 20, 2011
I won't be happy till I'm as famous as God."
- Madonna (seriously. who else would say something like that?
i auditioned to be an extra in a movie called Gone that's being filmed in my city.
i'm going to be famous, i'm going to be famous, i'm going to be famous! imagine, little old me, a celebrity- whoever would have thought? (besides me of course...)
Apr 17, 2011
Apr 12, 2011
here's a quote.
Don't say anything, because I see that you understand me, and I am afraid of your understanding. I have such a fear of finding another like myself, and such a desire to find one. I am so utterly lonely, but I also have such a fear that my isolation be broken through, and I no longer be the head and ruler of my universe. I am in great terror of your understanding by which you penetrate into my world; and then I stand revealed and I have to share my kingdom with you."
— Anaïs Nin
Mar 23, 2011
- Whitney Otto, A Collection of Beauties at the Height of Their Popularity: A Novel
this is so me.
Mar 18, 2011
Mar 13, 2011
Feb 13, 2011
or at least have something to say,
and the pressure of having to be charming (or merely verbal)
(I found this quote on Erika's blog ChambanaChik. She's a lovely writer)
I feel this way. A lot, especially lately, and I don't know why. There's a part of me locked away inside myself, and the key isn't hidden in a patch of rosethorns, but it's here, right under my tongue. It's being trapped inside yourself. It's the comfort and constraints of a bone prison. It is the discomfort of suddenly forgetting the shape of you, of becoming too small for yourself.
And the girl you are locking away sleeps in a pit in your stomach and curls painfully against the soft pink of you. And you are thinking about everything in the world she deserves, everything in the world you deserve, and the thoughts make you want to crawl backwards into the earth, but you can't. And you want to cry, but you don't.
The days fold themselves into a ball and lodge themselves in your throat.
You don't sing. If you were sure God could hear you, you would, but you're not.
You swallow your songs.
You're too afraid of choking.
Feb 9, 2011
if you walk outside
during the last quarter of the night
you can hear the moon slowly
forgetting the shape of the sky.
the night is not
so dramatic as it sounds
tonight there is nothing
but the night and her
Jan 28, 2011
Jan 9, 2011
the tough watch television
true story, folks. it seems like the more i have to do in regards to school and work, the more time i have to watch tv.
so without further ado...
my favorite television couples:
1) Chuck Bass and Blair Waldorf from Gossip Girl
2. Dan Humphrey and Serena Van Der Woodsen from Gossip Girl
They'd be number one, but the fact that their parents are now married demotes them. In their defense they're no longer dating. There's just something about Dan: he's a tall, dark and handsome writer that has been published in the New York Times. What's not to love?
3. Lisa Cuddy and Gregory House from House
You watch House, right? Who doesn't watch House? And Cuddy and House's dysfunctional relationship has been a long time coming. He's an arrogant, brilliant jerk, and she is his strong, sassy supervisor: the only woman ever to be elected the hospital's dean of medicine.
4. Olivia Benson and Elliot Stabler from Law and Order SVU
My relationship with Law and Order is a double edged sword. It's like watching a car accident. It sickens me, but I can't look away. I feel the same way about Benson and Stabler's not-quite relationship. They're partners, and they always have each other's back. Now that sounds like the foundation of a very healthy, happy relationship. Now if only Elliot could get rid of his pesky wife...
5. Kyle Richards and Mauricio Umansky in The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
I'm a little embarrassed, but in my defense it was late at night and I was in a bad way. I was tired, and I had work in the morning, and a ton of reading to do. So to make myself feel better I reached for the remote, and The Real Housewives was on. I had never seen it before, in fact, I had scoffed at it, until I begun to watch it. The majority of the women and men on the show are skimpy, skanky airheads, but Kyle and Mauricio have something special. They're rich, they have five kids, and they live in a freaking mansion.
Now that I think about it, maybe the only reason their relationship seems so stellar is because of all the other dysfunctional relationships on the show. And let me just tell you, the bar is not very high.