Dec 28, 2009

Clever Girl Goes Blog: A late Christmas wish.

Clever Girl Goes Blog: A late Christmas wish.

Life's short, so live and love and eat whatever the hell you want.
Take the evil words bubbling in the pit of your stomach and exhale them. Take the nice thoughts you're thinking and release them into the air.
Do what makes you happy. Surround yourself with people who love you, and don't think twice about the people who don't.
You're a wonderful person, never let anyone make you feel otherwise.
It's sunny today, so I think I'll take a walk. Read a book under the oak tree in the park, and skip under the arches of the winter bare branches.

Dec 22, 2009

i'm a woman of action

On March 30th the moment I've been daydreaming in class waiting for will finally come.
I'm not a raving, insane fan or anything. I've only mentioned him once. Or twice. Or three times. Or, anyways that's besides the point.
The point is that I have never been to a concert before. I know, I'm deprived. Blame my parents.
But this isn't just a concert to me. It's a first date chance to hear all the words in the bottom of my soul through the guitar. It's a chance to hear feelings, and see art, and for a few hours lose myself in the beauty of truly inspiring music. My parents, worrywarts that they are, are terrified to let me go. I don't know what they think could possibly happen at a JM concert. Maybe a deranged fan will choke me with her John Mayer tshirt?
Or smack me over the head with her guitar?
The point is I must go to this concert. It's vital.

And maybe in the back of my mind I've imagine us locking eyes through the haze and maze of people, and there will be something about me that won't allow him to look away. He'll croon the rest of the songs, not taking his eyes off me, and I'll nod my head because I also feel the connection between us. And then when his concert is over he'll find me, and even if he thinks I look a little young I'll assure him that I am perfectly barely legal, and that age is nothing but a number.
Because what are numbers in the face of true love?

Dec 17, 2009

pool and purpose

Yesterday my mom's boss had a holiday party at her house, and since my mother didn't want to go alone she asked me to come, and since I didn't want to go alone (I know wtf. why are we so needy?) I asked my friend D. to come. (More on her later).
And at first it was extremely awkward if you consider the fact that on the Age Spectrum that goes from 0 to 100 me, D, and my mother are closer to Zero, while all her coworkers (or the majority of them) are closer to 100.
She's young, don't tell her I said that or she'll go on about it for weeks.
My mother was completely in her element, I'm guessing that's why she ditched us, but that's another story.
Me and D. filled our plates with shrimp and cheescake (what!? It's all going to the same place!) and sat in a corner by ourselves whispering about what all the old ladies and men were wearing. What?! I told you, I was closer to 0!
My mom's boss has a daughter who is only a year younger than us, and this daughter has a boyfriend, and we started talking to them after we got sick to death of being asked how school was going, and what our purpose in life was.
And they were nice! And we ended up having fun, and I ended up embarrassing myself by attempting to play pool. I'm actually a pro at pool, I was just a little rusty ;)
Fine. You're right.
I'll admit it:
I don't know how to play pool. I fail at life.
See, I thought it was going to be like in the movies. Insanely hot girl walks in, grabs pool cue and holds it like a natural, leans forward gracefully as opposed to banging elbow on edge of pool table, her lustrous, wavy, silky hair cascades down her back, and everyone can't help but envy how jet black it is (this actually happened, give or take a few adjectives), and the striped ball plummets into the pocket.
Let me just tell you, it was nothing like in the movies.

Dec 14, 2009

decisions, decisions

First day of winter break started out AMAZING! If you ever need a slave housekeeper, I am more than qualified.

Not that I'm complaining or anything.
It's just that Blair Waldorf probably never had to wash dishes.
Not that Blair Waldorf exists.


On the Macy's website I noticed this beautiful, fabulous, gorgeous jacket, and my heart skipped a beat. Literally. And then I realized it was 75 bucks (give or take a dollar or two). And I remembered that I was supposed to be saving money. But then I realized that life is short, and that when life hands you an opportunity, you must take it. Plus, I spend at least 75 bucks a week month on food.
Fellow interneters, when happiness (or a fabulous coat) is within reach, seize it with both hands. Life is short, winter only comes once a year, so spend do what makes you happy :]
lalalalla tis the season and all....

Dec 10, 2009

sigh of relief

things i like love:
WINTER BREAK :), real friends, good books, being warm, hot chocolate, junk food, family time, no homework, being done with math FOREVER! the calm after the storm, everything falling into place, thursdays that feel like fridays, and weekends that last forever<3
Happy winter break, everyone :]

Dec 8, 2009

"you carry people. you carry me." hey chuck bass, carry me, please!

Best. Gossip Girl. Episode. Ever.
True, that is an hour (well, more if you count how many times I had to rewind and rewatch...) that I could have spent studying for my Political science final tomorrow, but I HAD to watch it.
Gossip Girl is much more than a TV show for me. It's a part of my schedule. I wait all week for Mondays at nine o'clock. It's the highlight of my life. And I know it goes against everything I believe in, and I am just another victim of society's use of the media to dumb down the masses, but I don't care.
And after watching Chuck Bass Gossip Girl last night I have realized just how incomplete my life is. If you don't watch Gossip Girl, I feel so, so, so, so sorry for you. You are like someone who has only showered their entire life, and never known the luxury of a bath. Like someone who has only ever worn shoes from Payless, and never tried on owned a pair of Louboutins in a Saks fitting room.
(Hey CW, you should hire me!!!!)
And most of all, you are missing out on Chuck Bass. To be honest, he's the only reason I watch the show. His character's so deeply flawed, but saved, he's grown so much in two seasons, he's it's beautiful.
Damn you, Josh Schwartz. You have ruined me for real life.


Dec 7, 2009


finals week is the worst week of the entire year. after spending an entire term barely toeing the line, finals week is the week that all my procrastination catches up to me, and leaves me choking and gasping for air.
i wish i didn't have to cram, but i do. i wish i didn't have fifty billion chapters to read in the books that are still in the bags that i bought them in, but i do.
i wish i could say i have learned my lesson, but i haven't.
and i wish i could say i will never do this again, but i will.

Dec 3, 2009


Nothing I want to say ever comes out right.
The words get stuck in my throat, get caught in the tiny crevices of my teeth, and never see the light of day. Spit or swallow. Nine times out of ten I will swallow, and the words make their way back down my body, and churn uncomfortably in the pit of my stomach.
I am not as graceful as I imagine, or as confident.
Sometimes I sit in my seat in class and contemplate getting up to throw something away, or use the bathroom for ten whole minutes. I don't why I do this, I just know that I do, and I wish I didn't.
I am not as good at casual conversation as I appear to be. While you're talking, and I am nodding my head, I am racking my brain for what to say next.
The bottom line is I am a lot of things, and I am not a lot of things, and this chasm is ripping me apart at the seams.
At night when I lay my head on my pillow, the person I will one day be runs rampant through my dreams.
But one day is the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, and when you try and touch a rainbow it slips between your fingers.
I am real. I am not someday, or somewhere.
I am here. I am now. And that's more than enough.

Dec 1, 2009

count blessings, not birthdays

it's my birthday tomorrow (:
and to be honest, it's a little anticlimactic. It seems like everyone else is more exited than I am. Maybe it's because I have my English final tomorrow. Blagh, which me luck. Not that I need it or anything. *knock on wood*
Anyhow, it's the dawning of an era, the coming of age of a girl, and way past time to cut the dramatics.
Here's to another year of being fabbbbbulous(:
here's to growing left, right, and forward.
here's to another year of stupid mistakes, and lessons learned the hard way.
here's to the end of fall term, and the beginning of winter.
here's to snow days and hot chocolate by the fire place.
for every one who reads this, here's to you.
thank you for listening.
thank you for reading.
you're beautiful<3