Dear Law and Order SVU,
I'm hooked to your show, I've watched every single episode at least twice. Well, that's an exaggeration but you know what I mean. You have scarred me for life. I'm terrified of being outside alone because I am afraid that everyone on the street wants to rape me. It's absolutely horrifying to walk down the street and think that everyone who makes eye contact with or accidentally bumps into me has just sexually assaulted me. But it's okay.
Better safe than sorry right?
I don't give a damn about cervical cancer right now. All I know is that I refuse to get another shot. I hate shots, okay. They are painful and unnecessary because who the eff even gets leprosy anymore? So no, no, no, no, no thanks. Take your little finger snapping, hand clapping, one less commercials and go.
Dear John Mayer,
Write a song about me please? I know you're afraid that people will think you're creepy since your thirty something and well, I'm only seventeen. But I will be eighteen in a few months and then, it'll be okay. We will be okay. I'm not some crazy fan, I swear. I think maybe I actually might love you. And for a girl like me, love don't come easy. And I realize that the media makes you seem kind of like a manwhore/douchebag, but to be completely honest? I don't care. No one's perfect, well with the exception of me, but come on. We have to be realistic here. Not everyone can be me. So I will look past all your imperfections if you will play me a story on your guitar and sing me to sleep.