Jun 28, 2009

Revelations over late night Ramen

I'll be a senior in high school next year, but it isn't the right of passage you think it is. On account of the whole early college thing and all.
The thing is that next year I'll be applying to universities as a transfer student with two years of college already under my belt.
I never thought college was an option. You graduated high school, you went to college, you got a job, end of story. But I'm begining to question everything lately, and I'm wondering why I have to follow the same road as everyone else.
There is more to life than SAT scores, and Intro to Lit classes. Academia is an institution we have created to make ourselves feel important.
Why do we pour our entire lifesavings into an institution of higher learning? What is it we learn in college that is so damn important anyways?
Traveling the world, interacting with people of different cultures, reading books seem like more logical ways of learning about our world.
College shrinks the world down into a powerpoint presentation and a million useless theories.
Theory without experimentation will get you nowhere in life.
College is overrated.
And I am so glad I finally realized this.
Mind you, this dosen't mean I won't be attending college.
This just means I'll be able to be cynical about it if I decide to go.
My mother says this is the argument stupid people make that are fully aware of the fact that they will never get into college.
I just thought I'd point out that I am far from stupid.

Jun 26, 2009

where is now.

it's eleven o clock, and i just got back from california.
i'm tired, but i can't fall asleep, and i think i might be turning into an insomniac of sorts.
Micheal Jackson is dead and even though I didn't care for him too much, the loss of a person's life is a loss of innocence to the living.
I have realized that life is precious, and that above all else it is temporary.
It isn't ours to keep.
It's like a library book that you check out and have to return to before you can finish it.
I make my fair share of mistakes, and my mother would argue that I've made plenty more, but I can always learn from them. Fix them. Put it behind me, in the past, and look towards tomorrow.
Death isn't like that. You can't die and say oh my bad, let me tell everyone I love them and go to Italy like I always wanted to, and then when I die for real I'll be ready.
When you die, you cease to be.
Life stops at death.
Your past is irrelevant, the word future will no longer be used in conjunction with your name. When you die, your death defines you.
Every breath I take brings me one step closer to my grave.
We are all, essentially, dead men walking. Ahem. I forgot that I was trying to be a feminist. What I meant was dead woman walking. Or dead people. Whatever. You get it.
So do me a favor.
Take that art class you never found time for. Call up the girl you're thinking about and tell her how you really feel. Sing in front of a crowd. Splurge.
Michael Jackson may be dead, but we are alive.
We might as well live.

Jun 21, 2009

Lists help me pretend I'm organized

I hate to say this is a list of thing to do before I die because that sounds incredibly morbid.
So let's call this a life list! Make your own, and be sure to let me know what you put on yours :)
Have a beautiful day!

1) Go to Mekkah
2) Spend a year abroad
3) Crash a wedding
4) Visit all 50 states
5) Write a book and get it published
6) Send a message in a bottle
7) Write a letter to the editor
8) Lay in bed all day
9) Sleep outdoors
10) Attend the Olympics
11) Skydive
12) Go skinnydipping
13) Hug someone random
14) Ride a camel in the desert
15) Be in the audience of a famous TV show
16) Sing in front of a large audience
17) Be in a play
18) Be a mentor
19) Shower in a waterfall
20) Start a youth group
21) Sleep under the stars
22) Pet a dog without being scared
23) Get a job
24) Save money instead of spending it
25) Scuba dive in Australia
26) Get in a Hot air balloon
27) Fall in love
28) Kiss a stranger
29) Visit all seven continents
30) Swim with dolphins
31) Go on an African Safari
32) Run a 10K race
33) Go to a college frat party
34) Read the entire Quran
35) Travel the Nile
36) Kiss in the rain
37) Kiss on the top of a ferris wheel
38) Do something nice for someone I don't even know
39) Go to Mall of America
40) Donate blood
41) Attend a peace rally
42) Attend a protest
43) Participate in a real debate
44) Learn how to drive
45) Get my license
46) Pass the AP Language exam
47) Get a B in chemistry
48) Pass a chemistry test the first time
49) Tryout for a sport
50) Workout and enjoy it
51) Go on a trip without parents
52) Get my bellybutton pierced
53) Stop connecting physical appearance with self worth
54) Say what I’m thinking
55) Tell the truth
56) Hold hands with someone
57) Read a Shakespearian drama
58) Read Socrates
59) Make a new friend
60) Stop myself from yelling
61) Tell the people I love that I love them
62) Find a best friend forever
63) Stand up for someone else
64) Host a party
65) Have a party in my honor
66) Slap someone
67) Have a song written about me
68) Inspire someone
69) Be inspired
70) Flirt shamelessly
71) Go to New York
71) Figure out what I want to do with my life
72) Finish what I start
73) Stop judging people
74) Drink more water
75) Get married
76) Go on a roadtrip with no predetermined destination
77) Find God
78) Keep in touch
79) Be more outgoing
80) Take a photography class
81) Take an acting class
82) Learn how to play guitar
83) Perform at a karaoke bar
84) Go to a masquerade
85) Be someone's bridesmaid
86) Dance in the rain
87) Get lost in California
88) Use SoCal in a sentance without sounding ridiculous
89) Get 100 followers on my blog
90) Be nice
91) Be vulnerable
92) Stop caring about what people think
93) Make a complete fool out of myself
94) Fly an airplane
95) Join the Peace Corps

Jun 19, 2009

To each his own

I'm leaving tomorrow, but I'm feeling antsy.
I want to do something meaningful with my life. Does that sound incredibly corny?
It's like this.
I left high school because I was tired of all the useless, and to be honest, stupid teenagers, doing absolutely nothing with their lives. Nobody cared that there was a world outside the four brick walls of our high school. Or maybe nobody knew.
But I knew. And I wanted to go out there and discover it. I want to be a part of it, and it to be a part of me. I want to speak languages, and visit countries, and all the famous art museums, and read all the classics.
I want to write novels, and read novels, and make friends, and find love. Not with a boy, but with people in general.
I have so many ideas, most of them relevant to no one but me, but I want to go out into the world and talk about them.
I want to join the peace corps, and save Africa, and I'm scared.
Scared that at the end of the day I'll be left with nothing more than expectations and empty dreams.
I have a suitcase full of ideas, and I'm always on vacation in my head. And it's lonely in here sometimes.
The weight of my own expectations and hopes and dreams, are beginning to weigh me down, rather than lift me up, and I feel my knees starting to buckle.
The future is a scary thing, and as spontaneous as I am, not knowing what's in store terrifies me.
That's a lie.
I'm not scared of what's in store for me. I'm scared that at the end of it all I'll end up disappointed.
Disappointment is worse then sadness, worse then anger...
Disappointment is believing something you're whole life and discovering it was a lie. It's packing for months on end for a vacation you never go on. It's an empty space in your stomach that will never go away.
I don't know.
Anything, to be honest. Nobody does, yet that provides little comfort.
I used to think I knew it all.
I used to think if I tried hard enough, and stayed in school forever minus a day, I would know it all, but I'm realizing that Life is a subject that they don't teach you in school. There's no Future 101, and no surefire tips to success.
We're all stumbling around in the dark, turning on lights only to discover they've burned out long ago... tripping on broken hearts and lost dreams, grabbing hold of the nearest hand, letting go before they let go first, hoping that we're going the right way.
Because you never know.
There are infinite roads, and infinite paths, and to each his own.
I hope you find the light.
I hope you end up alright.

Jun 17, 2009

Making Magic with Words

It's funny how you can find you can find your hero on youtube, idly looking through music videos of Beyonce shaking that thannggg.
Have you heard of Anis Mojgani?! He's a spoken word poet, and frankly, he's a freaking genius. His way with words makes me fall in love.
It might take some time for you to adjust to so watch this first:

You liked it ? Now watch this.
And please listen to it all. The second one is brilliant, it makes me want to cry.

He makes magic with words, and I'm inspired.

Jun 16, 2009

Big City Dreams

I'm leaving this Saturday for SAN FRANCISCO!!!!
You all know that NYC is my favorite city in the world, but hellooooooo! This is San Francisco we're talking about!
It's the city if divinity, and celebrity, and golden sunshine. It sparkles and twinkles with an aura of fabulousness. And me being, fabulous, I am sure to fit right in.

We live in the Suburbs of a fairly large city on the West Coast, in a neighborhood where all the houses look the same, and the funnest thing to do on the weekends is go shopping. Or to the movies.
There's no glam, there's no WOW factor. I mean sure, there's the beach and the mountains and so many goddamn trees, but that's not for me.
I'm all about traffic jams, and pollution, and crowded sidewalks.
I'm all about poetry slams, and five dollar shows, and amazing outfits.
I'm about being spontaneous and taking pictures on the side of the Golden Gate Bridge.
So, you see, my heart is happy. I feel like I'm going home, somewhere I belong.
Because I feel too big for this city of mine.
I am ready to go be fabulous in a city with like minded fabulous people.
Wish me luck, World, I'm on my way home.

Jun 14, 2009


Books are the best kind of magic there is.
They are wonderful, amazing, beautiful things.
A single page can transport you into another world.
A single page can make you cry, and laugh, and think, and wonder.
Books are so powerful: they have the ability to expand minds and make you think about the world in a way that you've never done before.
I want to write books. I want to build ideas with language, and a world out of letters.
I want to inspire, and give courage, and provoke thought.
Summer is a time to chase dreams, and even though I've said it a million times, this time I mean it:
this summer, I will write a book.
Dear World-
you've got another thing coming.

image courtesy of google images.

Jun 9, 2009

I taste summer on my tongue

Just one more week of school until it's officially summer vacation.
There's something so special about summertime: it's a mixing of hope and potential that comes in a basket of early morning sunshine and fresh grass.
It's the chance to be who you really are, away from the drudges of schoolwork and annoying classmates. It's all the possibility that's in eight hours of sunshine that was never there before. January is not the mark of the new year, our calendars revolve around summer, and when the time comes, the alarm clocks in our souls sing simultaneously.
Summer- six letters, two syllabus, and countless possibilities.
Maybe I'll dye my hair pink, go on a hike, change up my style, meet amazing people- who knows? And it's the not knowing that makes it all the more exciting.
The sun is up, the birds are chirping, and the faint buzz of the lawnmower penetrates the walls. It is summertime, child, be at peace.


Jun 5, 2009

Have Beens, Never Were's, and Spencer Pratt

There's this new show on TV called I'm a Celebrity... Get me Outta Here.
The thing is none of the people on the show are celebrities.
They are have-beens.
They are not stars that have faded over time, but stars that were puny and had a chance to shine.
The most notable is ...
drum roll please...
Spencer Pratt.
I don't hate, but I don't like him AT ALL.
He's a jerk.
And he's thinks he's the shizznit.
He annoys me.
He makes my blood boil. He makes me want to reach my hands into the TV and smack him.
I don't understand how he can call himself a celebrity with a straight face.
He's a leech that sucked off LC's fame on the Hills.
And no, don't worry I do not watch the Hills. Puhleease. The media has not brainwashed me completely.
So moral of the story:
Spencer Pratt, if you ever come across this blog, because I'm sure you google yourself to see what people are saying about you, you suck.
So does your bombshell bimbo wife.

Case in point.

Jun 3, 2009