Jul 6, 2008


It's four in the morning, and no, I have not just gotten home from a night of wild partying. A, N, I2 have just left for the airport and I'm feeling overly-emotional. A mixture of sadness, pride, envy, love, loneliness- like my nerve ends will explode any moment from over-stimulation.
But they're gone for a month and a half to Canada, and it's their first adventure without me.
I always thought that we'd go everywhere together, experience everything together, and I just can't grasp the fact that they will have memories, and experiences that I won't be apart of.
But they'll have fun with or without me.
No matter how much I wish it was with.

"fairy tales have happy endings, which are so boring. Come up with a new ending for Cinderella, but make sure the icky sister gets the glass slipper. How does Cinderella cope? How does Prince Charming react?"

Everyone is fighting a war inside. The fact of the matter is, you don't know what anyone is going through, so why make things harder than they already are?
For so long I've been judged and misjudged and labeled the "evil scheeming step sister who betrayed Cinderella and stole the prince'. That's not fair, it's just not right.
Geez, sometimes I feel like the Britney Spears of fairy tales. Everyone thinks they know me.
So for once, I'm asking you close-minded ignorant... uh sorry. I'm asking you idiotic, cold-hearted... ugh. In case you haven't noticed, this is kind of an emotional topic for me. What I'm trying to find a nice way to say is, listen. Just listen. Take me out of the box you've mentally put me in and get to know me from the best, from the only source, you can. Me.
its four in the dangggg morning.
i'll finish this later.


Ayan said...

hey jamila just read your blog i miss u having fun wish you were here im am soooooo bored waiting for nora to come home from summer school the kids send her love

Ayan said...

thats my pic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ayan said...

finish the fairy tale ending