So far this summer I've been doing a lot of thinking about life, about myself.
I've cut myself up and put myself under a microscope and I don't know if I like what I see.
So much self evaluation that I just want to get out of my head for a while and forget about everything and just live. But it's kinda like Pandora's box, once it's opened it can't be closed.
So this is what I've come up with.
I don't know who I am.
And Lord knows how pathetic I feel saying that.
Or maybe I do know who I am but I'm just pretending I don't?
And I know my parents worry about me because they think I have absolutely no moral conscience but that's so not true. I have morals and boundaries and sometimes I change them, but that's only because I donn't have my mind made up about everything in the world already.
I'll cross that bridge when I get there kinda philosophy on decision making.
I don't come pre-packaged and ready to serve.
I come in a million little pieces that have to be put together manually without instructions.
Come on, now. It's only fair that you're allowed to put things together wrong the first few times, right?
Too much thought.
I want to escape my thoughts, excape my mind, escape myself.
But there I am.
Jeez. I'm like my own stalker.