Sep 29, 2008

And these thoughts keep me wired like a hot cup of coffee. (even though I don't drink coffee. It stunts your growth. And makes your teeth yellow)

It's a little past 10, I have an 8 am writing class tomorrow, essay completed, questions unanswered. I should be in bed but I can't turn my mind off, so in an attempt to get some much (much, much, much) needed sleep, I transfer my problems on to paper (or in this case, website) leaving the words to sort themselves out.
I'm wondering if it's possible for people to change so completely that you don't recognize them anymore. I'm wondering if, maybe, you never knew them at all.
I'm wondering if it's possible to love and hate someone all at the same time. Or no, I'm wondering if it's possible to love someone, but not like them.
I'm wondering if reminding someone over and over again will make them remember.
I'm wondering if I hold on tight enough I can keep you close to me, even though you're fighting, and struggling, and screaming for release.
I'm wondering if you know that I'm scared to let go. I'm scared that you won't ever come back. Not literally, but metaphorically, duh.
I'm wondering if it's all my fault, and I'm just in denial.
I'm wondering if you care, even if it's just a little.
I'm wondering if you remember sharing secrets and stories. I wonder if you remember crying together until we were all out of tears, laughing together until our stomachs seized and cramped, but laughing anyways.
I'm wondering how you can be so oblivious to all the pain your causing. Actually, I'm wondering if you're not oblivious, but you're just looking the other way.
I'm thinking I'll have to ride this storm the best I can and see what happens.
I'm thinking I should go to sleep.

Good Night World,
Love J.

1 comment:

High School Girl said...

Wow! Thats great writing skills. It seems like its easy for you to gather your thoughts into words. Thats practically impossible for me. Thanks for the many comments you left me! Great post!