touch of fame.. jk jk

I'm going to disneyland on tuesday with my family! We're also going to LA and i'm definitely hoping to rub elbows with some celebrities... i know, i know, but it's the 13 year old girl in me!

I'm just really excited to be in the city that created such gorgeous specimens as Adam Levine and John Mayer spend time with my family...

I'm currently packing. Yeah... I've kind of made a mess of things.

long time no blog... visit me on tumblr! nomadmanifesto.tumblr.com & fameandotherdrugs.tumblr.com

here's a song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjVpkEGAgiw

be love<3

royal wedding

When I was like 10 I had the biggest crush on Prince William. I just knew that I would meet him, and he'd fall in love with me, and we'd be married, and I'd be a princess. I think that's what I was most excited for- being a princess. (What?! What ten year old girl didn't want to be a princess?)

I'm watching some NBC special about the preparation for the wedding and a number of issues come to mind:

- Why the @&(@# do I live in America? There is no royal family in America. The closest thing we have is Obama (don't get me wrong, Obama is the homeboy) and... Paris Hilton. Shoot me.

- Now that Kate Middleton is to marry the prince I am this much further from becoming a princess. Damn her. I'd hate her if she wasn't so darn cute.

- Hey Prince Harry... I always thought you were the cuter brother... No? I'll stop while I'm ahead.

I am feeling some royal envy. And I shouldn't. Because you know what? Princess is a state of mind.

Hearbreak

I'm a little bit heartbroken.
If you've been reading my blog for a while now, I'm sure you've picked up on the fact that I don't give my heart away easily. I've only been in LOVE love a few times. My most serious relationship involved John Mayer. Then there was still is Chuck Bass. (What? the word relationship is up for interpretation, is it not? Your idea of a relationship might not be my idea of a relationship).
But before them there was Aladdin Tarzan Tuxedo Mask my first true love. Prince William.
I was fourteen when I saw an interview with him on the news and my heart went pitter-patter. I looked into at his on the television screen and I knew that we were destiny.
Don't forget I was in middle school: from my standpoint he had a lot of things going for him. He didn't wear braces and get food stuck in them. He didn't snap bra straps. And most importantly, he was a prince, and as loathe as I am to admit, one of my secret fantasies still is was to grow up to become a princess.

True, I didn't find him at all amazingly attractive, but he was a prince and no one is perfect.

But it just wasn't meant to be. The universe has conspired against me, and P.W has chosen to make another woman his bride. He just couldn't hold out any longer. To be honest, I don't resent him for it at all. There is only so long that someone can wait.

If only I had moved to England when I first saw him. If only I had followed my heart.
If only, if only.

I wonder if John Mayer's still single...

happy summer.

it's already a well established fact that when i am feeling lazy (which is most of the time hardly ever) I make lists. So because I am a firm believer in the mantra Why Fix If it Ain't Broke (which I think might have been said by Confucius...), here is a list:

Things I Will (try to) Do This Summer & Goals I Will (probably not) Accomplish:

1) I will drink more water. Apparently it is beneficial for you. Who doesn't want clear skin?
2) I will read as much as humanely possible. The classics, too. They're classics for a reason, right?
3) I will exercise in whichever manner I see fit. Like intense shopping sprees, writing by hand... and so on and so forth
4) I will not plan on writing a book. I've said I would write a book for the past two summers, and there is only so much failure a girl can take. I will, however, write and write well.
5) I will teach myself Spanish. I am a quick learner (I think.)
6) I will get over Chuck Bass. The last time I saw him he was shot, and I am young. I cannot pine for someone in a coma.
7) I will buy a guitar. And teach myself how to play it.
8) I will catch up on all the sleep I've missed this school year. If this entails taking naps in the afternoon, and sleeping in until mid day, so be it.
9) I will buy an entirely new wardrobe for University. Hm.. what exactly does a criminal justice major wear?
10) I will make more lists. Who doesn't love lists?

Summer is opportunity. It's new friends and new chances. Everyone is different during the summer, everything changes. And hopefully it's for the better.

a thing or two about me

this is just in case you are wondering because i do. wonder, that is. all the time, about all kinds of people.

1) I spend most of my time losing things or looking for things I've lost, or looking for things I haven't even lost because when you lose things as often as I do, if you can't find something you automatically assume it's lost.
2) Aladdin was my first real love. Followed by Tarzan, and then Tuxedo Mask. Not even kidding.
3) I think RPrattz looks like an alcoholic homeless man.
4) Miley Cyrus, Hannah Montana, whatever the hell she calls herself these days annoys the hell outta me. I don't know why. Sometimes I wish I was famous just so I could not be friends with her.
5) I'm considering breaking up with Chuck Bass to be with Damon Salvator.
6) I'll admit that I'm slightly delusional.

<3

bucket list

i know what your thinking. another list, wtf. but it's not like that, i swear. as a writer i must explore all mediums and forms, and as you can tell i'm currently exploring lists and no capitalization.

anywho..

if i was ever on miss america (which, by the way, i would totally win), and the judges asked me what i would like to see happen in the world before my time was up (yeah, did that make you think of a microwave timer, or a third grade multiplication test?) this is what i would say:
drum roll please...

- I would like to see Rob Pattinson brush his hair. At first he looked sexy messy, and I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Now his hair screams 'brush me' on a good day, and 'i'm an alcoholic' on bad days.

and that's all i got.
at least i tried although the effort was minimal

on a different note, anyone watch american idol?


it's lovelovelovelovelove.
hey cougar kara, back off!

This is J, and I approve this message

I'm baaaaack, and perfectly fabulous healthy!

Now, before I begin I would like to mention that I have NOT given up on my "No Complaining" resolution. I am only making an exception because you are my very favorite people in the world because you actually take the time to read what I write, which means my ego is nearing combustion I really appreciate. And because you all are so special, this one's for you :)

I am sick and tired of school. I know, I know it's the first week back after break, but I cannot handle this. I am tired all the time. When I'm in class all I can think about is how soon I can get back to my bed. That and whether or not I've set all my shows to record while I'm gone. It's a billion degrees colder than usual here and I'm surprised I haven't died from hypothermia. It's always raining, and thus my cute winter outfits are being RUINED by all the layers I have to wear. My teachers do not realize I have a life (fine, I don't, but you're the only one who knows that) and keep assigning me massive amounts of homework which I don't even do. There are no cute guys in any of my classes. My immune system has turned to shit. I'm suffering from severe shoe lust, and I have no money! And I have to decide what I'm going to do with the rest of my life now that my mother has told me that marrying a prince and becoming fabulously wealthy a princess is not an option.

Thank you for listening! I feel better already :D

the brink of death

right now goldfish and Theraflu are the only things keeping me alive.

i haven't written in a while, and i know you guys miss my fabulousness miss you guys, so here's a little something till i'm feeling better.

cheers!

Happy New Years!!!

Yes, I'm a day late, but I have a good reason. I was perfecting my New Year's Resolutions. So, without further ado:

1) Eat more fruits and vegetables (I'm getting old! My mother would say that 18 is hardly old, but if you want to live till you're 100 you have to plan early)

2) Stop gossiping (my friends have little faith in me. true this should say gossip less, but i am nothing if not ambitious)

3) Do more homework (4.0 this term say whaaaaa! I know I've been saying this since sixth grade, but I can practically taste it)

4) Read more books (good books keep souls pure and free from wickedness, trust me)

5) Complain less (This is going to be soooo hard to do! Nothing further

6) Workout every once in a while more ( I boxed on Wii sports yesterday and I almost had a heart attack. Not to mention the fact that my muscles are aching.)

7) Be nicer to my brothers and sisters (This will be hard, trust me. Sometimes I wonder if they're the Devil's long lost children)

that's all for now :) I'll let you know how it goes!

What are your resolutions?

pool and purpose

Yesterday my mom's boss had a holiday party at her house, and since my mother didn't want to go alone she asked me to come, and since I didn't want to go alone (I know wtf. why are we so needy?) I asked my friend D. to come. (More on her later).

And at first it was extremely awkward if you consider the fact that on the Age Spectrum that goes from 0 to 100 me, D, and my mother are closer to Zero, while all her coworkers (or the majority of them) are closer to 100.

She's young, don't tell her I said that or she'll go on about it for weeks.

My mother was completely in her element, I'm guessing that's why she ditched us, but that's another story.

Me and D. filled our plates with shrimp and cheescake (what!? It's all going to the same place!) and sat in a corner by ourselves whispering about what all the old ladies and men were wearing. What?! I told you, I was closer to 0!

My mom's boss has a daughter who is only a year younger than us, and this daughter has a boyfriend, and we started talking to them after we got sick to death of being asked how school was going, and what our purpose in life was.

And they were nice! And we ended up having fun, and I ended up embarrassing myself by attempting to play pool. I'm actually a pro at pool, I was just a little rusty ;)

Fine. You're right.

I'll admit it:

I don't know how to play pool. I fail at life.

See, I thought it was going to be like in the movies. Insanely hot girl walks in, grabs pool cue and holds it like a natural, leans forward gracefully as opposed to banging elbow on edge of pool table, her lustrous, wavy, silky hair cascades down her back, and everyone can't help but envy how jet black it is (this actually happened, give or take a few adjectives), and the striped ball plummets into the pocket.

Let me just tell you, it was nothing like in the movies.

decisions, decisions

First day of winter break started out AMAZING! If you ever need a slave housekeeper, I am more than qualified.

Not that I'm complaining or anything.

It's just that Blair Waldorf probably never had to wash dishes.

Not that Blair Waldorf exists.

Anywho.

On the Macy's website I noticed this beautiful, fabulous, gorgeous jacket, and my heart skipped a beat. Literally. And then I realized it was 75 bucks (give or take a dollar or two). And I remembered that I was supposed to be saving money. But then I realized that life is short, and that when life hands you an opportunity, you must take it. Plus, I spend at least 75 bucks a week month on food.

Fellow interneters, when happiness (or a fabulous coat) is within reach, seize it with both hands. Life is short, winter only comes once a year, so spend do what makes you happy :]

lalalalla tis the season and all....

count blessings, not birthdays

it's my birthday tomorrow (:

and to be honest, it's a little anticlimactic. It seems like everyone else is more exited than I am. Maybe it's because I have my English final tomorrow. Blagh, which me luck. Not that I need it or anything. *knock on wood*

Anyhow, it's the dawning of an era, the coming of age of a girl, and way past time to cut the dramatics.

Here's to another year of being fabbbbbulous(:

here's to growing left, right, and forward.

here's to another year of stupid mistakes, and lessons learned the hard way.

here's to the end of fall term, and the beginning of winter.

here's to snow days and hot chocolate by the fire place.

for every one who reads this, here's to you.

thank you for listening.

thank you for reading.

you're beautiful<3

the things i've learned

1. The road returning home is always half as long as the road leaving home. Home is like a magnet, it pulls you closer and draws you in.

2. ID pictures, weather it's a school ID, a license (WHICH I NOW HAVE BTW!!!), or a passport are always ugly. Do not judge a girl by her ID card because she always looks ten times better in real life.

3. You can love someone without liking them in the least.

4. Sneaking out is a lot harder then it looks in the movies.

5. You shouldn't wear a purple shirt when you have purple streaks in your hair, or else you run the risk of looking like a clown.

"Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood."

Helen Keller

I may not know much, though on any given day I may act like I know it all, but by God's grace I am learning.

i'm supposed to be somewhere else.

What do you do when you know you're meant to be doing something else?

When you know you're meant to be someone else, but you can't because of circumstance. Because even though you are someone you aren't supposed to be, and even though it feels like someone got the order completely wrong, you can't do anything about. You take the dream of who you wanted to be and put it under your pillow, and bring who you are out to play, and deal with the shortage.

It is easy enough to theoretically say damn the consequences, but much harder to mean it. Almost impossible. Getting up and leaving who you are will only leave a hole in the hearts of the people who thought they knew you.

The path not taken is calling my name, and it is taking all of my will power to turn the other way and pretend I don't hear it.

They say some girls are born with glitter in their veins, and I know it's true because I feel it. What do you do when you're shining so bright, but the whole world is looking the other way?

Big City Dreams

I'm leaving this Saturday for SAN FRANCISCO!!!!
You all know that NYC is my favorite city in the world, but hellooooooo! This is San Francisco we're talking about!
It's the city if divinity, and celebrity, and golden sunshine. It sparkles and twinkles with an aura of fabulousness. And me being, fabulous, I am sure to fit right in.

We live in the Suburbs of a fairly large city on the West Coast, in a neighborhood where all the houses look the same, and the funnest thing to do on the weekends is go shopping. Or to the movies.
There's no glam, there's no WOW factor. I mean sure, there's the beach and the mountains and so many goddamn trees, but that's not for me.
I'm all about traffic jams, and pollution, and crowded sidewalks.
I'm all about poetry slams, and five dollar shows, and amazing outfits.
I'm about being spontaneous and taking pictures on the side of the Golden Gate Bridge.
So, you see, my heart is happy. I feel like I'm going home, somewhere I belong.
Because I feel too big for this city of mine.
I am ready to go be fabulous in a city with like minded fabulous people.
Wish me luck, World, I'm on my way home.

I need a job.
Actually, what I need is money, and since I'm not so keen on prostitution and drug dealing, getting a job seems the best way to do this.
I'm sick. Not physically, oh no, I'm fit as a fiddle. What I suffer from is Hyper reality. No girlfriend, I did not make that up.
Ever since I started watching Gossip Girl, and 90210, and all the other tv shows I would never admit to watching if you confronted me, I have begun measuring my own standard of living by their standard of living. Them being the TV characters. Not even the people who act them, but the people inside the TV.
I know I sound insane, but I can't help it! When I go to the mall and my friend says "Oh this dress would look so hot on you," I take one look and say "Serena would never wear that." When my cousin points at a guy and says "Oh, he's a cutie!" I take one look and say, "Oh him? He doesn't compare to Nate." My cousin looks at me baffled and says, "Huh? Whose Nate?" And I sheepishly hang my head, and mumble "Some kid from school."
So recently I have been looking through my wardrobe and I realized that NOTHING I own would be worn by the girls that go to Constance Billard. (Please don't ask.) So my sense of style has changed dramatically, much to the dismay of my mother's pocketbook.
She has realized that she can no longer take me shopping because my style now leans towards Very Expensive. Plus the economy.
Anywho. A girl of seventeen on the social scene of the Upper East Side (please don't point out I live in the Pacific Northwest) needs a wardrobe, and since my mother won't pay for it, the burden now lies on my shoulders.
So that is why I have to get a job.
So I can fit in with the people on TV.
My mother says that it's not a job I need, but therapy.
Retail therapy, anyone?

I am ready.
I have never been more ready.
This coming Tuesday I will take my driving license test!
*Hold for applause.
I know! Exciting, huh? Nerve wracking? You bet.
But it's okay. I've wanted to drive ever since I wanted to go places out of walking distance.
But I'm worried about one thing.
I may have mentioned my parent's overprotective nature. Allow me to elaborate.
When I was in third grade there was park across the street, but I was never allowed to go and play there with the neighborhood kids until I was in fifth grade. Even then my mother would hold my hand across the street and then leave me only to check up on me every 15 minutes. And that was completely unnecessary because more then once a kid would say "hey J, why is your mom watching us play soccer from the window?" and when I would look up she would hastily draw the blinds.
I wasn't allowed to cross the street until the summer after fifth grade. And, please give me more credit: I knew better then to ask about the big roads with actual cars, I'm talking neighborhood streets here, where the only think you can get hit by is little Sammy on his bicycle and the old ladies that powerwalk around the block.
See where I'm going with this?
I am counting on this license to be my life flight out of my boring life. But I'm afraid that my parents will, once again, find a way to set so many regulations that I will stay home because it will be too much of a HASSLE to drive anywhere.
But I watch a lot of TV and I read a lot of books.
So even though I've never sneaken (or is it snuken?) out before, desperate times call for desperate measures.
And as Blair Waldorf (if you don't know who she is I have lost all respect for you. just kidding! who said that?):
This one will be different. I need to wait for my moment, and then I'm going black-ops. Off the radar. No accountability. This war I'm gonna win.
Ms. Waldorf, great minds think alike. Please let the producer of your show know that he NEEDS me on his show!!! I would fit in perfectly. Beg, okay? And be sure to let me know what he says.

Guess whose back! back again. Shady, no, I mean J, not Shady! eminem refrences are so five years ago

I'm here, I'm alive, and I'm sorry I've abandoned you!
I already know what you're thinking:
if you can't keep us updated when you have nothing to do, you will totally forget about us when you're famous.
Not to worry folks, ease up. If, sorry, I meant WHEN I'm famous I won't be one of those snooty, not to mention skanky, celebrities that think they're, God forbid, better than you just because they have 156236 dollar purses. Ps. I would NEVER buy a purse that cost that much. It's a sign of insecurity, it screams: Hello, my name's _______, and I'm rich, and if you don't believe me LOOK AT MY BAG!!! I TOLD YOU I WAS RICH!!!
So where have I been?
Um, hello? Turn on the TV any given Tuesday/Wednesday night.
American Idol, duuuhhhhh.
I've decided to audition :) Seriously. So I've been singing nonstop since the season premier, and my mothers been, kindly, mind you, asking me to shut up.
Mother's, man.
And I promise you this is not one of those two minute phases I sometimes go through.
Plus, imagine if I WIN!!!!!!!
Then I'll REALLY be famous.
Plus, I'm sure it will score me points with John Mayer ;)
Did you say Jennifer Aniston ?
Sorry-- I don't know who that is.

you can't hate something till you try it. in that case i guess you can't love something till you try it either.

I have kind of a problem.

Did you wonder if maybe I was a closet gambler? Or that maybe I snort coke during bathroom breaks?

Why so serious?

That was a completely irrelevant Dark Knight reference. And now I'm thinking about Heath Ledger. And now I want to cry :(

I'm easily sidetracked. That's another problem.

But, not that problem I'm talking about.

You see, I tend to fall in love with things before I ever really try them.

Let me explain.

A few months ago I saw Leighton Meester in a pair of pumps, and I decided I loved them. I mean really, really loved them. Until I got a pair of my own that are now in a box somewhere under my bed.

After a few seasons of Top Model, I realized that my true calling in life was modeling. Thank God, I came to my senses and realized that I would never subject myself to such blatant objectification.

A few weeks ago I decided I wanted to be 'geek chic.' (I didn't make that up. Google it.) I started wearing my glasses instead of my contacts. I wore my hair in (read: cute) ponytails and half buns. I read on the bus. Until I looked in the mirror and remembered why I never wore my glasses in public.

But my greatest passion, up till only a few days ago, was soccer. You see, I'd never actually played a game of soccer, or football as the Brits would call it, in my life. But I convinced everyone, myself included, that there was a professional soccer player inside of me, just waiting to kick a ball across a field. I was Mia Hamm. I was the girl version of David Beckham. Mmm. David Beckham. On topic. Stay on topic. Do not be distracted by talented, uber-gorgeous...

Until my PE teacher said we'd be playing soccer for the last 45 minutes of our Thursday class.

After tripping over the ball too many times to count, a head-butt gone wrong, and I kid you not- a ball kicked straight into my face( IT WAS ON PURPOSE I SWEAR IT WAS)- the PE teacher said I could sit out if I wanted to.

And that was the end of my "passion" for soccer.

ps) I've moved on to guitar and John Mayer. Oh yes. Most definitely John Mayer.

Now all I have to do is convince my parents to buy me a guitar, and convince JM that age is nothing but a number, and 14 years is really not a big deal.

Have you noticed they never tell you public speaking is dangerous?!

I'm taking a speech class.

Pause and let that sink in.

And, wait for it, my first college speech is TOMORROW!

Sure it's just an introduction speech, and I must admit it's kind of an ego-booster since I know more about myself than anyone else in that class, but STILL!!

It starts with butterflies. No, butterflies makes it sound pleasant. It starts with rabid raccoons clawing at my insides. Than I get up in front of the class and even though I look totally fabulous and confident (what? it's an act i've perfected for years!) I'm dying inside. I swear, I feel like I'm suffocating. I'm choking on my own words, and then, wait what? They're clapping. I'm done. What?! I'm still alive? And they're oblivious to the fact that I was inches away from meeting my maker.

Gosh. People are just so oblivious.

I'm sure it'll get me one day. So if I don't survive tomorrow, dear faithful readers, please keep my legacy of fabulosity alive. ie: Print out the pages of my blog, photocopy them, and pass them out.

But if the speech demons don't get me, and I end up defying death again, although I find it unlikely, I'll try and resolve my public speaking issues.

Seriously. I do plan on being famous and all.

ps) listen to my current favorite song! i've listened to it 436326836+ times already. So I'll probably be sick of it tomorrow. And I know it's solja boy ! And I'm totally against top 40 stuff because it's all so meaningless, but I couldn't help myself! It's the fairytale loving, happy ending seeking, sweep-my-off-my-feet-and-write-pretty-sings-about-me teenage girl in me, I apologize.

Kiss Me Thru The Phone - Soulja Boy Feat. Sammie