ayeeyo- grandmother in somali

I was eleven years old when I met her for the first time, tall and proud, she reminded me of the sturdy oak tree that lived in our front yard. She spoke no English, and I spoke no Somali, but the same blood that flowed through her veins, flowed through mine. They say blood is thicker than water, and it is. It’s so thick that it can hold you down like a paper weight, or crush you until you turn to dust.

Two years ago my grandmother moved back to Somalia. She missed home so much she couldn't bear it anymore. I remember the day she left. I can't remember ever crying that hard.

We speak on the phone a couple of times a month. She has bought a home, a piece of land she can call her own, and she nurses her sick mother there. She tells me there is a bedroom for me when I come visit.

It's hard for me to speak to her on the phone: my throat closes, my voice chokes up. Her voice brings back so many memories- it's overwhelming the way that I miss her.

We speak in the Somali she has taught me, and it's often frustrating for me- the words are heavy and awkward in my mouth. My sentences choppy and broken, but she assures me that she understands. We talk about her time in America. She tells me that I am the only thing that ever made sense to her in this foreign land.

I dream of her every once in a while. In the mornings I wake up lonely.

All my life my mother has told me that public transportation is the "evil of all evils."
That is a direct quote.
She has told me that public transportation is the truth behind the boogeyman. That it's where girls are raped, and kids are kidnapped, and people are shot, and sometimes homeless people that kind of smell like pee will sit next to you and ask you for money, and if you don't give it to them they'll pull out a knife.
I think you can see where I inherit my tendency to exaggerate.
So, anyways, I have always been afraid of the bus.
I mean, duh. You'd be kind of on crack if you weren't after being told that for so many years.
Then everything changed.
Just this September I decided that I wouldn't be going back to high school, but starting the early college program.
The only problem was I had no way to get there. And I steamed, and I stewed. Cuz, to be honest? I thought maybe she'd have me walk, but I told her, just to be clear, that that was the quickest way to adding me to the National High School Dropout statistics. But she said, oh no, don't worry. I have it all figured out.
And she handed me my very first bus pass.
You can only imagine how I must have felt.
I racked my brain trying to remember what I'd done to deserve a "fate worse then walking ten miles in stilletos." (how do you spell stilletoes?!)
And, no. I admit, that is not a direct quote.
So you see. It turns out she exaggerated when it came to the whole bus thingy.
Which really makes me think about what else isn't true.
Do girls really get raped at high school football parties? Is it really illegal to be out after 6?
How will I ever be able to distinguish truth from my mother's tragic attempts to keep me five forever?
Well, either way.
I'm on to her.

Somalis say the darndest things

Rude things people say in MN:
1) I'll give you 10,000 cows for the girl.

But you know what's even ruder?

My aunt says I should be flattered.

State of the Union

In:Minneapolis

Out:

Portland

In:

Skirts

Out:

Jeans

In:

BMW

Out:

Honda

In:
Do I know you from somewhere?

Out:

Are you a model?

In:
Squinting

Out:

Stunna shades

In:
Somalis

Out:

Mexicans (no offense)

In:
Mall of America

Out:

Washington Square

Just a list of the differences I see.
Oh.
And a word of advice.

• If you are a boy and determined to wear flip flops? Please cut your toenails and put lotion on those ashy feet
• Girls? Armpit hair? Not fashionable. No excuses.
• A patterened skirt with a patterened shirt? You look like a walking puzzle.
• If you're hitting on a girl and she ignores you? STOP!
• Sweat stains are unattractive. Point blank.
• I know you may not be able to help it but staring is rude. Please try and be more discreet.
• DO NOT TAKE SOMEONE'S PICTURE WITHOUT ASKING. But remember, if you do ask? You're going to look like a major creeper.

Love you :)
TTFN