cheers!

Happy New Years!!!

Yes, I'm a day late, but I have a good reason. I was perfecting my New Year's Resolutions. So, without further ado:

1) Eat more fruits and vegetables (I'm getting old! My mother would say that 18 is hardly old, but if you want to live till you're 100 you have to plan early)

2) Stop gossiping (my friends have little faith in me. true this should say gossip less, but i am nothing if not ambitious)

3) Do more homework (4.0 this term say whaaaaa! I know I've been saying this since sixth grade, but I can practically taste it)

4) Read more books (good books keep souls pure and free from wickedness, trust me)

5) Complain less (This is going to be soooo hard to do! Nothing further

6) Workout every once in a while more ( I boxed on Wii sports yesterday and I almost had a heart attack. Not to mention the fact that my muscles are aching.)

7) Be nicer to my brothers and sisters (This will be hard, trust me. Sometimes I wonder if they're the Devil's long lost children)

that's all for now :) I'll let you know how it goes!

What are your resolutions?

long road nowhere

tomorrow morning's my license test.
yes, yes it's the third time, but you know what they say:
third times a charm.
i'm an optimist, you see. i choose to ignore the fact that they also say
three strikes you're out.
wish me well, world.
good night<3

you are a victim of the rules you live by

Society is a product, like Coke or Starbursts.

And unless you want to be a product of society, you gotta get up the nerve to say "Hey. I don't like it, so I'm not buying," despite of all the pressure.

And it's hard to do, I know, but you gotta do it anyways.

I know they told you there were no refunds, no returns, but they lied.
You can exchange your carbon copy life for another. For one that doesn't come prepackaged and assembled, but in a hundred different pieces that you have to put together yourself. And you may get it wrong some, a few, many times, but that's all part of the path not taken.

Let's be entrepreneurs, and discover the unknown... together.

That's the best part of the entire thing:

once you return your defected life, you no longer have to be alone.

They sell the new ones in twos and threes and fours and families.

Isn't that great?

No title

I failed my license test.
Again.
Third times the charm or something like that.
Good bye interneters- I need to go wallow in own grief.
Anyone up for a pity party?
You know what they say: misery loves company.

New Years Cheers? No, no. New Years Tears, you idiot. Hmph. Well that wasn't very nice.

For some reason New Years makes me sad.

I don't know why, but it happens every year.

You see, I usually spend New Years on the coach watching the ball drop in New York, my home sweet home. Well, not really. Errr.... fine. Not at all. But still. I've adopted it, you could say.

I even call my look New York inspired. My mom calls it radical, over the top, and sometimes, uhhhhgulyyy. Rude, I know. 

So every New Years I think about how uneventful the last year was. And how I'm not famous yet, nor have I saved the world. I haven't even STARTED saving the world, and it makes me sad. Because I've missed out on an entire year. 

My mother says that I'm only seventeen and that I can save the world when I'm all grown up. 

She's forgetting that I'm not very patient, and I really can't wait that long.

So 2009 will be my year. I'm absolutely determined that next New Years eve I will be thinking about all the people I've helped, and books I've written, and shows I've starred in, and I'll be content because at least I have done something.

The only problem is that I have no idea where to start.

Take two

I, at the age of 16, am a college student.
You know when people say 'this is the first day of the rest of your lives'?
I've always been like, okaaaay sure. So the life I was living up to this point, what would you call that? A pre-test?

But I get it. I really do. September 22nd, my first day of classes, will be the first day of another stage in my life.
I remember when I first heard about the early college program, I thought it was such a great idea, but at the time I was too caught up with high school to really give it any more thought.
Until last year happened and I grew up some over the summer.

How amazing will it be do define myself? To know that there is MORE to me than just high school.

So I'm ready.

I remember the end of eighth grade and how excited-can't-even-describe-it I was for high school. And it was everything I wanted it to be for the first half of the first semester. But it got really old really fast.

I guess there are a lot of things I'll miss about it, but it's okay. Like the author that has just gotten up the nerve to throw out a drawn out chapter that was headed nowhere and begin a new one, knowing that this draft will be better than the last.

I like that.

This draft will be better than the last.

I'm trying to write but it just doesn't feel write. So this is all I have to say.

“The future is not a result of choices among alternative paths offered by the present, but a place that is created--created first in the mind and will, created next in activity. The future is not some place we are going to, but one we are creating.”

I found this quote online, source unknown, and it made me smile. Everything I have been feeling lately summarized in a few choice words.
I've made mistakes, so shoot me but you know what? I'm pretty okay.
I'm content. Happy with the way things are and ready for whatever tomorrow has in store for me. I am writing my legacy. And believe me when I tell you it's gonna be a best seller (:

There's a world outside my window

There are no wrong turnings. Only paths we had not known we were meant to walk.

- Devin di Tigana in Tigana, by Guy Gavriel Key

I think I've actually learned something this summer. About myself. About the people around me. About the world. A little more about the random mishmash of things we call life.
For one thing, I realize that we are all incomplete. We, and when I sat we I mean people in general, are an architects dream, never to be his reality, because a lifetime will never be enough for what he has in mind. Everyday he builds, and builds, and builds, and then one day he dies. And no, I do not find this the least bit morbid, rather I find it reassuring. For the longest time I've refered to myself as a work in progress. Tired of becoming and ready to just be, never realizing that all this time I have been. And I've been wasting my time on a concept that doesn't exist. This, right here and now. This is my reality, this is me being. I am not a work in progress! I am already everything I ever will be inside my little self. It is up to me to bring her up to the surface and allow her to breathe. It is up to me to bring her out of hiding. I can work to improve myself, but I cannot let it take up all my time because then I will have no time to live. I'm ready. No, I've been ready all along. There is a world outside my window, and I am ready to go meet it head on.